WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize