You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
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The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
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That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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