i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
