so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
