Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize