And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
