last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
