I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
