we're blogging at a bar
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
