BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
