Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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