Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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