OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I could fuck to npr.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize