Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
