I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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