I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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