Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
