1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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