ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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