A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize