he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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