Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
