He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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