cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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