she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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