Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
