absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Still dying that you shit outside
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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