I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
