We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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