She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
