We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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