My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
