Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
