Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
