I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
