I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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