So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
