it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
