I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
