I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
