More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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