so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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