he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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