And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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