tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
