I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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