a queef is a wish your heart makes.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
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Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
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What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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