I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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