i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
