Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
