Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
