his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
