Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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