She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
