Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
