I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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