So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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