I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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