I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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