two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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