i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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