I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
