She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
