I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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